...,., god is love .,

i grew up believing in the non-believable . at age 14 i loved at a lost . at 16 ; i lost . & at tht very moment i vowed to never love again . but thts funny to say , knowing tht i fall `n & out of love every 3-6 months . in the 6th grade i diagnosed my self w/depression . i was depressed to live . depressed to know tht i would never meet majority of the expectations pple set for me . & it still hurts till this day to know tht i never will . i grew up writing . i believed writing was the key to relieve all stress . the only way i can escape reality with out actually escaping reality . i grew up believing in pain . pain `ol pain . the only thing tht can make you fall to your knees wishing yu never had a idenity . the only thing tht can hurt soo bad to point where you just wanna die . because at tht moment death is the only way out . i live a lyfe worth not living . well. . .at least i thought i did ,. i grew up hiding my emotions ,. covering everything with a smile , no one never understood ,. no one ever tried . i believe in the restoration of life ! i believe in a second chance to live ,. i believe in re-writing yur wrongs & making them right ,. im a firm believer in the power of the lord . i believe we hurt to heal , smile to cry ,. & live to die ,. life is about taking chances ,. being accountable for yur own decisions ,. & growing up ,.

the hardest thing i ever had to see was myself in the mirror & smile ,. when all i wanna do is desperately break down & cry . the hardest feeling i ever had to experience was to realize tht im 2oyears old with a one year old daughter & the only person she has to count on is me ,. not him ,. not her ,. but me ., the pressure to consistently make good choices is overwhelming ., the hardest thing i ever had do was admit tht i jene'e lezlie crawford am not perfect ,. but life wuldnt be life if it was always so easy ,.& nevaeh makes every trip, stumble , & fall worth it ,. i will sincerely & utterly follow her any where our love will take us !