mannn, it felt like we havent tlked in so long. every time i try to communicate with you it always seems like my calls are going unheard & my blessings are coming up short. right now my emotions are twisted in which & every way there capable of twisting. sorry to say, but . . . . my faith in you has been put on hold. & i know this is the most sallow & selfish thing i can ever say but, recently it seems as if every time i need you the most you never come threw. you sent me on soo many lefts in my life time, im afraid you forgot how to show me to go right. i been tryna stay true to the only person who never left me nor forsake me, but its been truly a struggle. im telling you, it really has. its hard to try to maintain your composure in grace when you feel asif your constantly being backed into a corner. & i think thats kinda the funny part too. its funny how people are constantly tryna pull the rug for underneath me to see me fall, when they see in a sad attempt to desperately keep standing. & i cant help but to get jealous when i look around & see the people who are least deserve'nt of any blessings what so ever gain more then i could ever pray for. im in desperate need of happiness. but i guess a person could only complain soo much. i have so many things missing in my life, i just wish they can all be filled within a matter of seconds. because lord, ooh lord, i dont wanna hurt no more. i think i would of lost it all if it wasnt for my baby *heaven ( Nevaeh ), the anticipation of the thought of me holding her in less than a month has been the only thing keeping me motivated. i guess i just knoww shes gonna be a breath taking reflection of your heart. the love you have for me runs sooo deep. im sure your probably astonished at the thought my heart could even feel such ways about you. im not gonna give up tho if thats wht your thinking. my faith in you was weakened. but it wasnt lost. all im asking is to bring me closer to you. just make me a believer again.
sincerely, once a sinner but the lord is a forgiver,
jene'e lezlie crawford
we'll speak again later tonight in my prayers. God is love & love is faith.
*i know what it is to be in need, & i know what it is to have plenty. i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation. whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. i can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.
philippians 4:12-13
