its funny how things change. we once start off as this beautiful little bundles of joy. so innocent. so unaware of anything. so valued. then we grow. experiences teach us life lessons. they teach us to be cautious. you may break a bone or a heart. you look before you leap. & sometimes you just don't leap at all, because there's not always someone there to catch. life starts to become scary. we become a human sacrifice to the world. everything becomes give & take. then it just becomes take. we learn to love. then we learn that everyone is not gonna love us back.
as we walk threw life we realize that we're not accepted. we spend every single day trying to figure out how to reach complete happiness. until the day we find out that it doesn't exists. happiness is a temporary emotion. that we spend most of life on the journey trying to find. one second we`re happy. & the next minute, we`re in the most depressing mode that we have ever experienced in our sumthing years of living. we loose all hope. all determination. all will. our mind soon drifts away into a state of remembrance. remembrance of the day before we lost all doubt. before we finally uncovered the fact that happiness only lays in the person who chooses to make us happy for that one spilt almost unattainable moment of our lives. that one person. that one place. that one thing. remembrance of the day before it became funny how things changed. remembrance of the day when we became beautiful bundles of joy.
my day was may 4,199o , Santa Monica hospital. the first time i ever smiled. my first real but yet unclear view on life. my first look in Rene'e `s eyes & personally thanking her. thanking her for this once & a life time experience. then looking up & thanking God. thanking God for my only real chance. the chance of letting me live. i accomplished that all in about 9.5 seconds. then i cried. i cried non-stop maybe. because then i realized. this might be the only time im really, completely happy. & i knew happiness like that wasnt infinite. till this day; im still crying.
its a girl . . . .
-jene`e lezlie crawford
