,

with out a second thought. with out even a second guess. she writes. she writes what she knows. not even thinking of what to say so it can flow. perfect imperfection she calls it. shes lost. recently her downs have been so low, her tears have been so salty. & her heart so shattered. just her luck she thought. once again God has forgotten about her. " not again lord, -heavens have mercy not again. " shes a angel in her own mind. an angel with a troubled soul. the truth will set her free. but instead denial runs threw her veins. peace full at her worst. & insane at her best. & with that, her physical traits make up the for the characteristics of someone so divine. stunning even. her only down fall being ? . . . . she doesn't remember. she just knows one day she fail & never got back up. her body is permanently glued to the floor. like i said " her downs have been low " rock bottom even. shes emotionally scorned. her body cries out to be loved. but i guess nobody see`s the signs. so she accepts second best. lust. lust full tendencies fill her head like knowledge. & sex becomes her way out. her escape rout to a better tomorrow. but then she realized. from here on out her days are doomed. & then she thinks " is this possibly the reason I'm still laying on the floor ? " her passion for life become`s nothing more then true disgust. & her dreams ?. . . . as for her dreams, they only appear every few glances at the mirror. every few chances she gets to take a look at her reflection. a chance where she really see`s what she has become. " don't let me get me " she says. " I'm a hazered to myself " she thinks. as the night falls, so does her tears. & all she can say is " hello, are you there God. its me ___________ "

- jenee lezlie crawford